Goodbye and thanks for all the fish

So what does one write in a final blog?
We could share all our favourite photos of the amazing things we've seen: the mountainous landscapes of Patagonia, New Zealand and Tibet or the amazing wildlife of the Galapagos and Costa Rica...but have realised we don't have access to them as they're sitting safely on a hard-drive in Edinburgh, so we'll have to share them with you/ bore you with them when we next see you.
We could tire you with more accounts of the pain fun of skiing in -40C (where two runs were all we could manage between coffee stops), running the Kepler track in NZ in 9 1/2 hrs (our poor knees), being power-stretched by Shaolins way past the pain threshold, or the deep thigh pain that builds from cycling day after day over the Alps and across Europe...but those are things that are probably better felt, than written about.
We could write about all the amazing food we've eaten (and drinks we've drunk!), in particular the French Cafe in Auckland (the best food we've ever eaten) and our own culinary efforts in Gerty the wonder-bus...but you'll have to wait until you next come to dinner to see if it's influenced our cooking (or sommeliering).
We could try to impress you with some of the new skills we have learnt...kite surfing, kung fu, tai chi, photography...or our (often comic) attempts at speaking Spanish, Thai, Mandarin, Tibetan, Nepalese, Italian and French...but that's best done in person.
Or we could write about how the experience has had a deep and lasting impact on us and what we learnt from our time with the Shaolins and Tibetan Monks...but that's way too serious for this blog!
So all that's left to say is a few thank you's....
...to Brian and Jackie, for their help with all our mail & admin whilst we were away...
...to Andrew, for his help with our photos...
...for all of you who have enabled us to feel connected, despite the distances - via skypes, email, or just reading our blog...
...and to our guardian angels, who ensured a remarkedly event-free trip (except for: the occasional bout of illness, particularly in China; the destruction of one bag by a (Chinese) airport conveyor belt; one big flight delay causing us to need to buy a second set of onward flights (cheers LAN Ecuador) and at the time of writing a lost bag to the Italian postal service (but we're hopeful it will turn up soon!)).
For anybody who is tempted to follow in our footsteps - go for it: it will certainly stun, impress, sometimes disappoint, but overall, enrich your life (we're allowed one cheesy line surely?).
So that's all folks (until next time) - we can't wait to see you all and hear all your news - thanks again for watching.
And finally, in the (slightly adapted) immortal words of Frankie S:


And now, the end is near, and so we face, the final curtain,
Our friends, who we hold dear, we've missed you lots, of that we're certain,
Our trip, was full of fun, we've travelled each and every highway
We've faced it all, we've had a ball,
We did it, our way!


Goodnight x

Home sweet home

Day: 21
Route: Honfleur - Portsmouth (via Le Havre)
Distance: 21 miles (cycling)
Height: 302ft ascent
Time in saddle: 1hr 57mins

All we had left to do was get to the ferry. As we were staying at a cheap motel on the outskirts of town we treated ourselves to 'Le breakfast' at a teeny cafe in the back streets where we had delicious homemade, local & fresh bread, pastry, apple juice, coffee and cake, served with a smile:

We had enough bread to pack some up for lunch and as Sam disapproves of cake for breakfast that got packed up too!

The cycle path to the ferry port in Le Havre went over the Pont de Normandie, which is a 90kph roadbridge over the Seine and the cycle path is the not very wide at times hard shoulder. Quite terrifying.

Then the route through the ferry port was equally as scary, as the cycle path came to an abrupt end and we got unceremoniously dumped on the edge of a busy trucking lane. We reached a bridge which was up to let a tanker into a lock, and as we stood around looking perplexed a friendly French road cyclist said 'follow me' (well we think that was what he said, as it was in rapid French) and slowed down to let us tag on the back. He then led us through the container port over a different bridge until he pointed out a left turn that was marked for the car ferry and waved a cheery goodbye.

We continued to follow signs to the car ferry along the trucking road where at one point a curb started from the middle of nowhere which Sam only just managed to avoid with a swerve and a squeal, that was unfortunately not enough to alert Alistair who was tight on her wheel, who hit it, and whose back wheel fish-tailed dangerously as his front wheel scrapped the concrete curb. Luckily and we're not entirely sure how, he managed to stay upright and calamity was avoided. This reminded us that a bit like the last ski run of the day, when your legs are weary and your concentration is elsewhere, you need to be even more careful!
A picnic on the ferry, a friendly chat with the border guard, followed by the last couple of miles cycle across Portsmouth and we are finally home.
A quick totting-up shows we have covered a total of 912 miles over the last 3 weeks and the official weigh-in showed we managed to survive with just 11.5kg of luggage (thankfully there wasn't an official weigh-in of us, as Alistair is convinced his pastry and wine consumption has somehow managed to more than offset the huge number of calories we've been burning).
To say we enjoyed every mile is stretching the truth a little, but overall it has been great and was a fantastic way to end our travels: the weather was (mostly) kind, the countryside (mostly) beautiful, the people we stayed with (mostly) welcoming and the food & wine (mostly) delicious!
We can still scarcely believe we're home at last and are looking forward to waking up in one place for more than one night at time!

Honfleur tourist trap

Day: 20
Route: Saint Etienne La Thillaye - Honfleur
Distance: 20 miles
Height: 843ft ascent
Time in saddle: 1hrs 48mins

More delightful pastries from our parisien patissier host set us up for the short, if occasionally hilly, cycle to Honfleur. Honfleur is centred on a very pretty little old harbour, but is the most touristy place we've been since China:

The crepes looked disappointing compared to yesterday, the service in the restuarants was poor (so poor we walked out of a place having not been able to place an order for over 20mins) so we settled on slightly underwhelming ice-cream and sorbets and a spectacularly poor pastry!

We did manage to find a nice little restaurant hidden in the backstreets for dinner, which made for a near-perfect spot for our last supper (even though Sam was somewhat perturbed by the whelks and winkles she had to wrestle with).

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside...

Day: 19
Route: Saint Etienne La Thillaye - Deauville - Trouville - Saint Etienne La Thillaye
Distance: 16 miles
Height: 513ft ascent
Time in saddle: 1hrs 30mins

Having made such good progress over the last couple of weeks, we have a couple of spare days before our cycle, and hence whole trip comes to an end on Friday and we have to return to w*rk.
After a yummy breakfast in the place we're staying, which is (lucky for us) the home of a patissier, today we have come for a day at the seaside, at Deauville & Trouville on the north Normandy coast. After a 40 minute cycle, a huge open expanse of clean (although shelly) sand greeted us at Deauville, although the water is more brown than aquamarine.
A few hours reading on the sand and then we pottered across the inlet to Trouville where we enjoyed a cafe gourmand (espresso and 3 miniature deserts) and the best crepe Sam has ever had (frangipane, pear, chocolate and toasted almond):

Having had to persuade Sam that she couldn't have a second one we're now writing this, looking out over the water wondering how we're going to go back to the reality of normal life (although don't expect any sympathy!).

Ps the day was finished with moules frites washed down by some more cider in a touristy cafe, before the short cycle back to our b&b

Normandy apples

Day: 18
Route: La Ferte-Fresnel - Saint Etienne La Thillaye
Distance: 45 miles
Height: 1524ft ascent
Time in saddle: 3hrs 41mins

A slightly shorter stage enabled a relaxed start to the day, as we let the rain abait. It was still dark and threatening when we set off, with yet more headwinds, but thankfully the rain stayed away.
We could tell we had arrived in Normandy as we passed lots of lovely looking 'chocolate-box' esque farmhouses. These country folk certainly have a sense of humour:

Arriving at Lisieux for a late lunch, we happened upon the local annual bike race, which kept us occupied for an hour or two (watching that is):

After a slightly frosty welcome at our b&b in the middle of the countryside (which thankfully has since thawed), we headed back into Pont L'Eveque to a delightful little bistro. Feeling a little short on our 5-a-day, we decided to try all the local apple specialities: pommeau for aperitif, a carafe of cider with our food and calvados for digestif! Delightful.

Not more headwind

Day: 17
Route: Chartres - Ferte-Fresnel
Distance: 59 miles
Height: 2027ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 16mins

The bonus of being out of the hills is that the ground is largely flat. The problem is you're more subject to wind, which can work in your favour, but more often than not seems to be directly on the nose. The first fifteen miles were a real slog, particularly as breakfast had been 'simple' (half a baguette and some imitation jam). To make it easier we took turns - 1 mile each in front before sheltering behind the other for the next.
The next 5 miles flew by as we played the alphabet game with songs and rather than calling out your answer, you had to sing as much of it as you could remember. Hence the French countryside was lit up by un-tuneful wails of 'Oooooour house, is a very very very fine house...' and 'Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to...wo, wo, wo, wo'. We rolled into a small town for our morning stop treating the locals to a rendition of Jerusalem.
We shared a pastry on a bench in a little town called Senonches, which turned out to be so calorific we cycled through to 50 miles passed numerous sleepy towns until we found somewhere to stop for lunch without feeling particularly hungry! The road helpfully skirted the edge of a forest and old mansion house dampening the headwind a little, but we're not quite sure where all those miles went.

With 3 hours before we could check in, we enjoyed lunch in a cafe before spending some time reading books on a patch of grass in the sun, before tackling the remaining 12 km to our bed for the night.

Turns out that Hotel Paradis (which we were a little concerned about given the write up) is a fab little place where the dinner and vin du table have been spectacular, not least as the desert came swimming in a freshly made caramel....mmmmmm......

Ps. We reckon that if it wasn't for all this food and wine, we'd probably be quite thin after all this cycling!

Da Vinci, De Milo and Le Tour

Day: 16
Route: from Chartres to Paris (and back) by train!
Distance: 0 miles
Height: 0 ft ascent
Time in saddle: 0hrs 0mins (for us at least)

We had heard that there were some other cyclists pottering around France so we decided to intercept them on our rest day...meaning we just spent today in Paris.
An early start, an early trip to the boulangerie and an early train saw us arrive in Paris in time for a quick coffee before hitting the Louvre in advance of the tour groups, although a decent proportion of the population of China was still present.
A fabulous museum, we took the masterpieces walking tour with an audio app, a few favourites being:
- De Milo
- Victory at Samothrace

- The coronation of emperor Napoleon (where incidentally 200 people are pictured of which 75 are identifiable, including a chap who was painted with the face of Julius Ceasar despite him not having been there)

- And of course this lady needs no introduction (but the idiots in front might).

Weary and cultured (relatively speaking of course) we left one of the greatest museums in the world and had lunch at a traditional Parisian bistro with tiny tables on the pavement, seats squished close together and predictably average and over-priced food. The only thing missing was the grumpy waiter. Our's was in fact chirpy and smily despite rushing around serving far too many tables.
Next we took a stroll up the park to watch the women's race lap round the course.

A few hours, a quick nap on the grass, a strange parade and an ice cream later and the men turned up too. Sadly Chris Froome wasn't in yellow and Mark Cavendish wasn't competing for the stage (which had been the things we'd been looking forward to when we planned the trip). None the less it was awesome to see them whizz by close up and we had a fab day out of the saddle in Paris.

A hundred kilometres of head wind

Day: 15
Route: Combreux - Chartres
Distance: 63 miles
Height: 1514ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 41mins

The hundred odd kilometers to Chartres were as flat as a pancake, across miles and miles of French farmland which was in the process of being harvested:

It was so flat that we spied Chartres cathedral on the skyline just after (an admittedly late) picnic lunch, at least 20kms away.
But whilst we flew through the first 40kms of the day, our progress was increasingly hampered by the wind which built and built throughout the day and was pretty much on the nose. It became so windy in fact that, nearing the end, a kind passing cyclist offered us a 'tow' (slipstream behind him) for the last 10kms (which we nobly declined, letting him inch away from us into the distance).
The wind really took its toll and we arrived at our (slightly less than desirable looking) accommodation in a suburb of Chartres possibly the most tired we've been. Thankfully, our bikes were soon locked in a secure garage and we were conked out in our perfectly satisfactory room, glad that tomorrow is another rest day.
Ps we just about managed the 25 min walk into town this evening for supper, which gave us an opportunity to admire the huge cathedral we had been looking at all afternoon:

Storm chasers

Day: 14
Route: Bannay - Combreux
Distance: 65miles
Height: 1594ft ascent
Time in saddle: 6hrs 30mins

We spent most of this morning chasing a ginormous storm. It gave us our own light show as we wound our way alongside the Loire on a slightly freestyle cycle path.
Here it is going alongside a canal which curiously goes over a bridge over the Loire. A canal on a bridge! Weird):

Eventually, and inevitably, we met, resulting in us getting another good wash. So good in fact that the Cateye waterproof cycle computer drowned, much to Sam's distress as she enjoys keeping an eye on our speed and watching the miles tick by.
At our mid day stop we treated ourselves to a pastry which was as yummy as it was full of badness. By the time we reached Sully sur Loire, a pretty town with a Disney like Chateau the sun was out! Hurrah!

A quick shared sandwich on the edge of the moat and we easily passed the remaining 30 km (of what turned out to be a long old day) enjoying the scenery. It's amazing how things just look nicer in the sunshine!

A proper rest day

Day: 13
Route: Bannay - Bannay
Distance: 0 miles
Height: 0 ft ascent
Time in saddle: 0hrs 0mins (hurrah!)

The clue is in the name and this time we didn't stray too far.
A lazy (and fabulous) breakfast, a stroll along a disused railway, a picnic on the banks of the Loire, a few internet-based chores followed by a simple home cooked meal, eaten with the family we were staying with. Bliss.

Sancerre

Day: 12
Route: Nevers - Bannay (nr Sancerre)
Distance: 47 miles
Height: 1256ft ascent
Time in saddle: 4hrs 10mins

This was supposed to be an easy day, 20-30 miles, cruise flat or downhill all the way, then when we actually looked at the map it was ~35 miles if we went straight there (which we didn't) and had a sharp climb at the end.
Anyway, we set off out of Nevers then about 5 miles in picked up the voire vert, a cycle path along the Loire. Happy that the sun was almost out again we could almost ignore the head wind.
We'd been wondering where all the cycle tourists had got to, not having seem anyone for the last few days, well today we found them all. Turns out most people stick to the river valleys where the flat terrain makes cycling a little easier. Lesson learned. The cycle route passed lots of lovely fields with yet more happy sunflowers (hard not to smile at a field of sunflowers):

As this was going to be a half day relative to others, we headed straight for Chavignol, a little village behind Sancerre famous for its goats cheeses and wine (we had cycled over 35 miles before we even arrived there!). We popped into a little bistro in this sleepy village for lunch thinking we'd conquered most of the miles, so why not, and as this place had been recommended as a good spot to try some Sancerre in an informal setting.

Alistair managed a full menu du jour and between us we sampled 4 small glasses of Sancerre. We then, with heavy and slightly wine-leaden legs, and with the previously elusive sun out in full force with its mate humidity, cycled in pain up the hill to Sancerre. It turns out that when you have been cycling for pretty much 11 days straight including a day over the alps and the day before >100km, even a ~35 mile day hurts.
In Sancerre we headed for the museum the Maison de Sancerre to learn about the wine and the region. After reading some exhibits, watching some French vignerons on video lamenting the last 50 years and getting to drive a split harvester tractor in a simulator, they gave us a glass of Sancerre to try on the terrace overlooking the vines and told us we could keep the glasses, for which we found a way of protecting them before stuffing them into our back pockets for the cycle onwards:

Three glasses down and we decided we'd had enough tasting for the day so we headed down the hill and popped into a supermarket to pick up a picnic dinner...and a bottle of wine which we then strapped between two flip flops onto our luggage racks. Here we also met a lovely chap who had competed in three Tour de Frances in the 60s, and had a good 5 minute 'chat' with him (in charades) in front of the deli counter!

As we cycled the remaining few km to the village we were staying (the astute amongst you will notice the total miles covered for the day at the top was somewhat longer than that anticipated), our old friends the sun and humidity combined to give us a thorough, but short, drenching, ensuring that we arrived at our destination looking like drowned rats and with a fruit tart that looked like:

Luckily fruit tarts taste good even when they have lost structural integrity. As the storm had quickly cleared, we had a fab picnic outside our room in the garden of the lovely little family run hotel, hugely excited by the prospect of not cycling anywhere tomorrow.

Miles, mist and massacres

Day: 11
Route: Autun - Nevers
Distance: 69 miles
Height: 4657ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 40mins

It was our longest day so far at 69 miles (>100km), with not an insignificant amount of ascent either over the Morvan hills. At least the navigator could take a day off: one road took us all the way there, with no repitition, hesitation or deviation.
The only bright spot on an otherwise dull day was a mid morning coffee stop with the best pastry we've had so far.
As a result of the rain (yes we had more of it today, but the Scottish-mist type stuff which although didn't seem very heavy, still managed to soak us quickly), we've been running the gauntlet with slugs for the last few days. The most interesting part of today (which gives you an idea of how dull it was) was when, at 33mph, Sam (who had been diligently swerving them up until that point) ran over a huge slug, causing it to explode all over her leg.
Our eventual arrival in Nevers brought our first sight of the Loire (only because the navigator hadn't realised his day off had finished).
Bring back the sunshine and bring on Sancerre!

Il pleut

Day: 10
Route: Cluny - Autun
Distance: 55 miles
Height: 4341ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 5mins

Ok, we've been spoilt by the weather. Beautiful sunny days, making the rolling hills and hay bales into a picture-perfect Monet, almost too hot at some points but nothing that you'd want to complain about.
Today it rained. A lot. That really heavy sort of rain that finds its way inside your waterproofs and feels, when the wind blows, like lots of tiny stones hitting you.
Today was the sort of day where undercover bus stops and church porches are your friends for map changes and snack stops. 55 very hilly, very damp miles. Today was the sort of day where a bit of grit and determination go a long way.
What's funny is that in our half day off yesterday, having rushed to hand wash our cycling kit before taking a guided tour of beautiful Cluny, we then diligently dried everything with the hair dryer in our room to make sure it was fit for the morning. I think it stayed dry for all of about 40 minutes. Oh well.

Ps Autun turned out to be a pretty medieval town where we dried out over an amazing escargot salad and crepes

And on the seventh day they rested

Day: 9
Route: Macon - Cluny
Distance: 16 miles
Height: 953ft ascent
Time in saddle: 1hrs 37mins

Ok, so it was our ninth not seventh day and we cycled a few miles, but it was still our first official rest day. A lazy morning was followed by a pleasant potter along the 'voie verte' (cycle path with no traffic) between Macon and Cluny. The first rain of our trip didn't dampen our spirits and thankfully it had cleared in time for a guided tour of the medieval city of Cluny. We learnt that Cluny used to have the biggest church in Christendom until somebody with a distinct lack of foresight sold it to a stonemason who promptly took it apart and sold it, leaving just the odd archway and bell tower.
Despite having had most of our rest day, our legs are still feeling sore...fingers crossed a miracle happens overnight to prepare us for our second week in the saddle.

Julienas

Day: 8
Route: Pont d'Ain - Macon
Distance: 57 miles
Height: 1056ft ascent
Time in saddle: 4 hrs 11 mins

The first few miles were a little hilly and after 7 pretty tough days in the saddle we were struggling a little in both body and mind. However, the roads soon flattened, the cross-head wind became a cross-tail wind and our legs remembered what they needed to do. So much so in fact that we soon found ourselves virtually racing each other through the countryside, in the hope of missing the threatening rain clouds (which other than a few spots we thankfully did, but not probably because of our efforts).
A quick mid-morning refuel in Chatilllon and we were soon in Burgundy wine country...where we happened upon a wine fête a few villages away:

Never being people to look a gift horse in the mouth, we quickly agreed to the c.5 mile detour, and spent a pleasant afternoon eating our picnic and supping Beaujolais from many of the top producers in the area. For the princely sum of €5 we bought a glass and rather dandy bag to carry the glass around our necks, and wandered between the different stalls, learning a little about the wines of the region whilst sampling them:

We've just been brought back to earth by finding that we've booked ourselves into a motel next to the motorway, and what we thought was a 15 min walk into town for dinner is more like an hour, but I guess you can't have everything!

Ps. Bonus photo of the correct way to transport a baguette in France...now where did he put that beret....

YoYo

Day: 7
Route: Collonges - Pont d'Ain
Distance: 50 miles
Height: 3321ft ascent
Time in saddle: 4hrs 07mins
When we were not going up, we were going down. When we finished going down, we went up again. There was nothing flat about today, but whilst the climbs were hard, the downs were great fun on smaller, winding, quiet roads, passing fields of happy sunflowers:

So fun in fact we'd completed 47 of our 50 hilly miles before lunch. As a result we stopped in a little village for a menu du jour (4 course lunch that remarkably had something Sam could eat, washed down with wine, water and coffee, all the the princely sum of €13). Luckily there were only ~3 downhill miles from lunch to our stop for the evening.

We spent the afternoon watching team Sky's remaining hope fall out the back of the peleton before enjoying a picnic tea by the river. Bliss.

Bonjour

Day: 6
Route: Le Bouveret - Collonges
Distance: 64 miles
Height: 3109ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 7mins

We spent last night in a rather odd B&B, which was actually a room in someone's flat. Our breakfast arrived on a little trolley which we took out to our little balcony. I can ignore the too soft mattress, the retro bathroom, the slightly dirty floor, and the early morning building noise because the breakfast was FAB. It wasn't posh, it wasn't refined, but unlike the previous months there was cereal, nice fresh bread, delicious home made jam, proper orange juice, hard boiled eggs (albeit spray painted pink curiously) and random things (apricots, cocoa powder and chocolate rice cakes). Needless to say we had a hearty breakfast and packed up the rest for lunch!
We set off in Switzerland, cycled to France, then into Switzerland, then back into France again. You'd be forgiven for thinking we cycled in a circle, when in fact we cycled along the beautiful road along the south bank of Lake Geneva, where curiously the border bends and twists between the two countries:

There actually wasn't much of a border at any point, just some empty infrastructure and some guards looking bored (we figured the posting there must be a punishment given there is NOTHING for those chaps to do. They also had a boat of border guards patrolling the lake border, presumably looking for foreign fish). Despite this, our entry into France was met with much excitement (not least as it's a language we can manage) and lots of silly French accents (from us rather than the locals whom we assume have sensible ones).

We cycled through some beautiful towns, most notable being the decadent Evian and the quaint medieval Yvoire, our lunch stop, all cobbled and bustling (although this photo doesn't capture either of these traits!):

More miles took us into the centre of Geneva, then we had a rather mean hilly final 15 miles or so to a small village nestling in the hills where feeling a little low on sugar, we inhaled a late afternoon pain au chocolat before making it to the B&B where we are spending the night, which has perhaps the most comfy bed we've seen for months.

It's all downhill from here

Day: 5
Route: Bourg Saint Pierre - Le Bouveret
Distance: 50 miles
Height: 1098ft ascent (and a few more of descent...)
Time in saddle: 3hrs 27mins

Having spent the night half way down the hill after crossing the Col du Grand St Bernard, the morning was spent free wheeling the 20 odd miles down to Martigny. Harder than it sounds, as the corners were tight and Sam's front brake was not working properly, but relative to the day before, not that hard and still lots of fun (particularly for those with fully functioning brakes).
Given we then only had 25 miles to go (peanuts we thought) we decided to stop at the art museum in Martigny (it's ok, we changed into sensible clothes) where we not only lowered the average age of attendees by a good 30 years, but we got to see a Renoir exhibition and a nice, peaceful sculpture garden (where we were adult and refined and did not take thumb selfies):

Feeling very cultured at this point, a quick picnic in the town centre was followed by ten painful, miserable miles into a headwind, or headhurricane as it felt like. As the valleys converged, the wind funnelled up towards us. No amount of slip streaming made it easier.

After ten miles or so the valley thankfully opened up and with it the wind eased. We saw a sign for a museum of vines and wine. Given at only 45 planned miles, mostly downhill (it turned out to be 50, this has been a pattern with Alistair's planning), it was a pseudo rest day and we took the bait and headed off the road toward the museum. What we found was the beautiful town of Aigle with a magnificent Chateau which doubles as a museum, with the whole town surrounded by vines:

They also had falconry outside and some of those birds were HUGE. The local wine, which we learnt lots about without being able to sample, is Chasselas, so we left the museum determined to taste some with dinner.

Back on the road we pottered with tired legs to Le Bouveret, our stop for the night on lake Geneva/Lac Léman. A dinner of lake Perch and a glass of the local Chasselas was enough to put Sam into a deep sleep minutes after getting back into our B&B.

Wow and ow

Day: 4
Route: Quart (nr Aosta) - Bourg Saint Pierre
Distance: 34 miles
Height: 6500t ascent (no that's not a typo)
Time in saddle: 4hrs 33mins

Today was always going to be tough. To get back to England from the north of lake Como we'd need to cross the Alps somewhere and we'd chosen the Col du Grand St Bernard as it was recommended for cyclists.
The Col du Grand St Bernard lies between the two highest peaks of the Alps, Mont Blanc and Monte Rosa. At 2473m it is Switzerland's third highest road pass (the Italian:Swis border is just a few hundred metres from the summit).
There was a mere 34 miles scheduled between the place we stayed last night and tonight's stop, unfortunately, 26 of them were vertical miles.
We started the proper ascent about 09.30, (the first bit of the day before that being pretty flat) and, well, just kept cycling upwards....ALL DAY.
The valley was lush and green with snow capped mountains poking out at the top. The sort of place that makes you burst spontaneously into song 'the hills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuuusic...', well at least for the first few hours when we still had the energy for such things.
The ride got even better when the traffic veered off into a tunnel and the old road wound quietly up the hillside.
In parts you could see the road disappearing up the valley side in front at improbable angles, but when we reached them, the pain in our legs was much the same as it had been, indicating a steady gradient:

Some stops for muesli bars and an annoyingly long/expensive/un-filling lunch punctuated the ride. Hours had passed, the sun was hot and our legs were tired, and we kept lapsing into silence, punctuated only by the grinding of our chains and the annoying clicking of our pedals (must fix that). This really was an epic climb, but because we're both really stubborn and über competitive, there was no chance either of us were stopping.
Near the top some motor bikers on their way down shouted encouragement 'allez allez!' which spurred us on. There were a few other cyclists, but where we differed was the thickness of our wheels and the weight of our luggage! We spent much of the 4 hours in the granny gear just grinding up the hill.
We got to the lake virtually at the top in glorious sunshine, although up here the air temperature was a little chillier:

We treated ourselves to a very well deserved cafe cortada (espresso & cognac!), before peddling the last few metres past the stuffed St Bernard's dogs, and the now defunct Swiss customs and border, to the pass proper after just over 4 hours painful cycling:

The freewheel part way down the other side, at a rapid rate of knots, was the best descent we've ever done. And by stopping at a (slightly random) hotel at c.1500m altitude we've saved a lot of the fun until tomorrow morning...can't wait!

So it is with sore legs, but smiles on our faces that we sit here planning the next stages of our cycle in a little more detail, ensuring there are sufficient vineyards en route to reward us for the most hardcore day of cycling we have ever, and probably will ever, do.

Valle d'Aosta

Day: 3
Route: Santhia - Quart (nr Aosta)
Distance: 62 miles
Height: 4082ft ascent
Time in saddle: 4hrs 50mins

We started the day with a little trepidation: our longest day yet, with a decent amount of ascent up the Valle d'Aosta. An enforced late start because of breakfast time didn't help either, but we were on our way as quickly as possible. Having enjoyed the tiny country roads so much yesterday afternoon we tried to employ the same tactic, only to be thwarted when we found a road closed and some admittedly friendly locals pointing us back towards the main road. So with some distance to cover we decided to knuckle down and churn through some miles on the big road, with a few games to help the time pass.
It didn't feel like long before we were in Ivrea, our appointed mid morning stop, where we enjoyed a granita and a coffee cream thing (more like a dessert than a coffee) in a lovely piazza:

The morning continued to fly by, with the gentle gradient up the valley bottom only slowing progress marginally. A quick picnic stop allowed us to push on, although by this stage the temperature had hit 30 again and whilst the tail wind was aiding our speed, we were both wishing for a bit of a breeze. The gradient kicked-up significantly, with our first category 1 climb (based on the arbitrary Rose scale) made significantly worse by the searing heat of the suntrap we found ourselves in.
We did eventually make it to the top, and after a quick gelato stop (for those who can eat gelato), we were on the last stint to our rest spot for the night, finishing in our quickest time yet.
The positioning of our hotel tonight is at the other end of the spectrum from last night's farmhouse in the country (we can see the autostrada toll booth from our window!) but inside it feels like a little haven. Fingers crossed that even though it's a Monday (traditionally closing day), we can find somewhere to refuel nearby, as we're certainly going to need it for tomorrow's epic mountain stage!

A day of two halves

Day: 2
Route: Rescaldina - Santhia
Distance: 64 miles (with a few detours, both intentional and not!)
Height: c.1000ft ascent
Time in saddle: 5hrs 10mins


First half - pretty dull scenery, suburbs, ticking off the miles. We stopped at a supermarket for picnic supplies around 12, but every time we sat down to eat it we got covered by mossies. Eventually we rode into a town called Navaro and sat in a little park with our long sleeves and trousers on in 30 degrees to eat (we're not guessing, all the pharmacies here have temperature displays outside them). With a final tally of about 6 bites each, we started the afternoon ride.
Second half - we decided to avoid the main road, which meant we would add a few miles by going on the winding country roads, but we were rewarded with beautiful green fields, sleepy villages and crumbling farmhouses:

We churned up the miles through this beautiful and flat-as-a-pancake landscape. One side of the road was wheat and the other rice (we're assuming of the risotto variety!):

Great riding. We rode into a place called Vercelli mid afternoon still in hot sunshine (who knew the back of your hands could sweat?!) and found a fabulous Gelateria (called, less than appetisingly, GROM). It would have been rude not to stop so Alistair had a delicious chocolate concoction and Sam enjoyed a sugary coffee granita. Nothing could have been more perfect for the occasion.

We've just arrived in the agritourismo we're booked into for the night, where we appear to be the only people again, this time accompanied by Barney and Baloo the resident dogs. Lucky for us (as we're in the middle of nowhere) this place will cook us dinner....
....just got back from dinner. Luckily Alistair had emailed ahead and asked if they could cater for Sam who doesn't eat meat or dairy and was told it would be no problem.
Starter was the ever present solid bread, pork in tuna sauce and pork tongue carpaccio in herb sauce. Sam likes bread and sauce.
Primi Plati was risotto cooked with red wine and sausages. Helpfully, Sam likes risotto and can dodge sausages
Secondi Plati was Pork medallions and tomato and green beans. The tomato and green beans were the best veg Sam has had in ages.
Desert was a baked peach with chocolate and amaretti biscuits. Hallelujah, Sam loves fruit and amaretti is her favourite.
In all seriousness, the farmhouse was spectacular with beautiful iron chandeliers, the people are lovely and the food was fabulous. The local wine was the first decent and non-fizzy red we've had in Italy (no idea how or why the red has been fizzy previously). We assume meat was misunderstood to mean beef, luckily Sam is expert at dodging unwanted animal products, we shall have to be more explicit next time.
With the rumble of thunder in the distance and the noise of rain drops hitting the irrigation chanel just below our window, we've retired for the night with tired legs and full bellies to plan tomorrow's cycle.
Night night. X

The grand depart

Day: 1
Route: Dascio - Rescaldina
Distance: 55 miles
Height: c.3000ft ascent (mapping software claims it was 5,500ft, but we don't believe it!)
Time in saddle: 5hrs 45mins
And so it begins. We set off with blue skies and spent ~3.5 hrs cycling along the west shore of Lake Como, in and out of tiny villages, and some larger towns where you could feel the wealth (the give away was even the trees in the street were manicured, never mind those in people's gardens):

A quick mid-morning granita stop quenched our thirst, before continuing down the lake:

To avoid tunnels (narrow, badly lit) we had to keep crossing on-coming traffic to get to small bypasses. On one such occasion Alistair had his left arm out firmly indicating we wanted to turn left when a group of oncoming motorbikers decided they wanted to high five him!

A while later we started to cross again when an Italian cyclist behind us called out to indicate we should climb a slope instead. We dutifully followed and then he spent the next 20 minutes being out tour guide, pointing out where we could get water from etc, until we rejoined the main road. We then waved a grateful goodbye to our new friend who sped off much faster than us by virtue of having no luggage, tyres half the thickness, a good half foot height (therefore leg) advantage, and by the looks of it having been born in Lycra.
10 minutes later however there he was on a road junction flagging us down. Turns out he really didn't want us to end up on the main road so he had stationed himself on a turnoff and waited. Brilliant. Despite our poor italian and his non existent English we also managed to fathom the road that we were now taking was where George Clooney lives (but no, there wasn't any sign of the wedding yet).
We stopped near the southern tip of the lake for a rather decedent lunch (with the requisite Como tourist tax) and the first of what we'll sure will be many espressos:

We were soon heading off up the day's big climb (although only a baby hill today). ~600ft later we started the downhill section through suburban Milan until we reached Rescaldina our overnight stop.

So far so good, weather, bikes, legs - all behaving.

Kit list

For those of you wondering what one takes for 3 weeks of cycle touring, our choices are as follows...

1. The bikes - Meet Rapha and Brailsford, our hopefully trusty steads for the next 3 weeks. Two entry level Ridgeback touring bikes, with rear racks and vaguely comfortable looking saddles (to be confirmed how comfortable they are in reality):

 

2. The clothing - Team Rose kit, love it! (no we didn't have our names added - there's an awesome German company called Rose bikes who do great and very good value cycling kit and we thought it would be funny):

And most importantly, the padding on the shorts looks good.
3. The most amusing thing in our kit bag - "if it's good enough for Pippa Middleton's bottom, it's good enough for my wife's!"

4. The rest of the kit - as little as possible. With the late inclusion of our trainers, we have just fitted everything into 4 dry bags (two XL, two L), plus two saddle bags:

This includes: a range of clothing which will hopefully protect us sufficiently from blizzards over mountain passes, torrential rain and burning sun and make us just about passable for dining out; small washbag with lots of suncream; minimal bike repair kit (fingers crossed nothing major goes wrong); emergency rations; paper maps for whole route which take up a surprising amount of space and our ipad so we can keep you updated!

Le Tour

It is with a little trepidation that we are about to embark on the final stage of our trip, the c.800 mile cycle back from Lake Como to the UK.

Our provisional route will initially take us south to the outskirts of Milan, before heading west to the Valle d'Aosta, over the Grand St Bernard's pass into Switzerland, along the south shore of Lake Geneva, down the Rhone to Burgundy, over the Burgundy and Morvern hills, down the Loire past Sancerre, and then via Chartres to Le Havre, to catch the ferry back to Portsmouth.

You can see most of the detailed route here (the software keeps crashing so we've not yet been able to save a complete version), or an overview of the whole route here:

[For those of you wondering, that gargantuan peak at c.200miles is Grand St Bernard's pass, and yes we do need to get over it with all our kit if we are going to make it back...oh and we heard it was blizzarding up there the other day...]

Almost kiting in Como

After what felt like 3 years, (but was more like 36 hours) on a plane (Kathmandu - Kuala Lumpur - London - Milan) we arrived in Italy and made our way to Dascio a tiny village in the north of lake Como and our home for a weeks kiting.
Luckily for us the bikes we'd ordered from Ireland had arrived and after a good night's sleep and a HUGE breakfast (we've been in Asia for months, the sight of good bread/ pastries/ jam etc and we couldn't help ourselves) we put them together and cycled into the neighbouring town of Gera Lario to go kiting. 414 is the company and these guys take you out on a rib and launch you one by one and spend the afternoon zipping around giving you tips and rescuing where necessary.
The wind was pretty pants and we had to fight to get a good ride. We were pretty chilly by the end too. We cycled back to Dascio to find a mini festival in town, although feeling a little odd, perhaps from swallowing lake water or a bug from the plane.
Day two was much the same (we rapidly got into a routine of two meals a day) although preceded by a run up the hill before breakfast:

[average photo from viewpoint on the run, but it's the only one we took all week!]

Today though we had a few more knots and the kiting was awesome. Chris the instructor was fab and gave you just enough hints and tips before leaving you to practise for a while. We both stayed out until we could barely move - at over 4 hours on the water, it was more time riding than in the whole week in Thailand. When we got back to our place the lady told us excitedly in Italian (with a little help from a singer) that tonight had live music and if we bought a cocktail we could eat at the buffet for free. Crazy economics, but we did and it was fun.

Day three and the wind looked poor and we both felt pretty rubbish, Sam in particular was running a fever so we stayed in Dascio. We found out later there was only 10 minutes of kiting that day as the rain had come in.
Day four was heavy rain and kiting was cancelled. An extra day to recover from the mystery germs was fine by us.
Day 5 we got a message saying 07.00am start to try and catch a forecast northerly rather than the afternoon thermal. We eventually got out around 08.30 and the wind was gusty and patchy. Aside from that it was freezing. Our toes went numb and we were chilled to the bone. We weren't too disappointed when the wind died after a few hours and we went in. We did then spend the afternoon walking up the big hill behind Dascio which was fun, and we couldn't resist running back down.
Day 6 started with a quick training ride up a very steep mountain above the kite school. We didn't quite have time to reach the top, but 2000ft of ascent wasn't a bad morning's cycle. The wind was light again and we were out with a different chap, remarkably, the same person who we nearly kited with in the Philipines earlier in the year. So light in fact he decided to do an experiment mid-afternoon. He put Sam on a 13m2 (huge kite) and the biggest board he had...just in time for the wind to come in...........
Both thrilling and terrifying in equal measure, so powerful in fact that Sam could park the kite at 11.30 on a clock face (12.00 is where you put it to stop) and still fly along faster than ever before. Riding was fun, stopping rather difficult. A few unplanned jumps later and he collected us in where we realised we'd kited all the way to the end of the lake and it was really quite late and everyone else had gone home!
Day 7, our last day, was unfortunately a bit of a flop. Although it was looking promising when we set out, the wind never really came in, and after 15mins of very light wind kiting and about an hour sitting in the water waiting to see if it was going to come back, we headed back in.
So whilst we definitely could have been luckier with the conditions, a pretty good day 6 and an amazing day 2, plus fun biking and running and of course great italian food have left us with smiles on our faces :)